into my blog

30 Days

My challenge for August was to sustain the challenges from the past. About halfway into August, my fingernails were getting quite long. They got in the way when i would type and would actually hit the wrong keys. So I ripped them off, but to a decent length. They still looked really nice. But I couldn't leave them alone. Things got busy at work and I fell back into old bad patterns. Now they are quite short and hurt occasionally. I suck, there is actually a finger in my mouth as I type. :( The bright side is that I have the chance to start over in September.

Fitness

I did a really good job with my 5 weeks of fitness, although it turned out to be more like 4 weeks. I'm planning to start up again September 1. It was working really well to stop by the gym after work. I'm going to incorporate that into my schedule for fall.

Revelation

It actually happened a few weeks ago. I went to lunch with Courtney and we talked about a lot of things including her travels in England. One of the other topics was roommates. We're both living alone and are pretty happy with that. A couple days later she IMed me and mentioned that the topic had stayed on her mind. She was pondering if it was good to live alone or if it would be good to have community. We didn't talk about it much but then the topic stayed on my mind. I thought about it the next morning. I do a lot of thinking while I get ready for work, there's something about looking in the mirror. But that is a topic for another day. So I pondered why I really don't want to have a roommate. Wouldn't it be fun to have a friend who lives with me and we hang out together, cooking, watching tv, talking... As I looked into the mirror and thought about this, I realized that the real reason I didn't want anyone living in my house is ....leftover baggage from voldemar (aka darren). I know it sounds crazy, but there is a little voice in my head that says if I live with someone, they will learn all my unique attributes. They will realize that I'm an unlovable slob and leave. Now there is another voice in my head that tells me its a crazy notion. And I sorta know that, but its an insecurity that I have. Its just another one of the scars left by voldemar. Its interesting to discover scars left by the divorce. Most of the time I forget that I was married. Its so behind me, and then SMACK, I'm reminded of all the pain and wounds inflicted.

Home Improvements

I'm all excited cause I finally decided to make my spare room into a scrapbooking room with a cat motif. Now I just have to find the time to make it happen. :)

Crazyness

Things have been pretty crazy at work and my brain is fried. I worked an extra 31 hours last week. Pretty impressive huh? Anyway I'm feeling a bit out of it, so much that I thought this entry was already posted, but I forgot to do it. :) Next week should be calmer.