enter into the pain

I've been mulling over this blog entry for awhile. Its an idea that's been in my head since last year, when I saw "The Passion". That is the movie showing Jesus' last few days. One of the scenes that sticks out most in my mind is while Jesus is carrying his cross through the town. There is a woman who tries to help and gives him water. In return the guards threaten her, but the look on Jesus' face is priceless. He was moved by the kindness of the woman. She risked bodily harm from the guards to help Jesus.

The same lesson can be applied to problems that we go through. Recently a friend of mine had a scary evening. She was expecting to hear from her father and didn't. She tired to call his house and cell phone, and he didn't answer. I happened to call during this situation cause she was suppose to eat dinner with me and some other friends. I could hear the tears in her voice and I knew she was scared. I told her to let me know if/when she had more news and I said goodbye. As I was sharing the news with the other friends, I had the strong urge that we needed to take dinner to her. So we did. This was a scary prospect. What if the situation turned out to be something terrible. Was I ready to feel all the emotions and deal with it. Would my friend welcome us or tell us to go away so she could deal with it in private. Conviced that she should not be alone during this we went.

She was very relieved to she us and gave me a long hug. We didn't have any magic words. We weren't even sure what to do. But we did the most important thing, we were there. She knew that we cared and we'd be there. She didn't have to go through it alone. We lightened the mood and helped her relax. Soon there was a phone call from her brother who had figured out the situation and it turned out her dad was at a meeting.

I know that its a scary idea to talk with someone who is experiencing pain or grief in their life. We're afraid of saying the wrong thing. We don't want to make the situation worse. Its also hard to be the one going through a tough time. We don't want to appear weak. We want to be self sufficient. But the reality is that we need people. In fact they are part of the healing process. I know that I would not have made it through the separation/divorce without the wonderful people God put in my life. What I remember from that time is not the words they said, but the kindness they showed by listening to me and just being there.

So if you know someone who is hurting, I encourage you to enter into their pain. And if you are the one hurting, allow friends into your pain and let the healing begin.